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Read this book before our economy collapses

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I don’t want to sound like an alarmist, but everything you know may soon collapse around you. It probably won’t be because of an asteroid strike, but instead because of the irresponsible brand of capitalism in this country. When this happens, fish food is the first to go, so pet fish will be the first victims. We’ll be second, and we’ll need to take some drastic measures.

So pick up a copy of You Can’t Win by Jack Black (the other Jack Black). By nature, all autobiographies are a little egoistic, but this one is humble and beautiful and it will blow your mind. It’s about being a hobo, a professional thief, and an opium fiend, you know, like you do. Black jumps trains from city to city stealing, getting caught, escaping, getting caught, escaping, and befriending some of the most interesting characters the early 20th century had to offer.

jackblackWhen Jack Black wasn’t riding the rails, he was removing the souls from kittens.

Black was off the grid and survived it, something we may need to do when our grid disappears and there are no more amenities, like moisturizer and toothpicks. Forget Bear Grylls and his avoid-being-eaten-by-a-bear brand of survival techniques, Jack Black was an urban Odysseus.