Moviehole has revealed some new details about the dreadful reimagining of the 80s classic, “The Karate Kid”, being produced by Will Smith. The plot is generally the same as the original film, but with some changes made in order to update it to the times. If you’re already feeling ill in the stomache, then we suggest you stop reading from here.
The character of Daniel Larusso (played by Jaden Smith! Yipee!) has been renamed Dre (hopefully they don’t call him Dre-San…) and is a skateboarding video game buff. His single mother, in fear of losing her job in the U.S., accepts a job transfer to her office’s branch in China. As the two settle into the country, Dre, who doesn’t speak Chinese, struggles to settle in with the kids at school and is beaten up by the local bully.
The character of Mr. Miyagi (played by Jackie Chan! *Smiles cheesily and raises two peace signs*) has been renamed…Mr. Han (isn’t that the DJ from Linkin Park?). Mr. Han sees a black-eyed Dre practicing martial arts on his Wii video game and agrees to mentor him in martial arts and Chinese.
The character of John Kreese has also been renamed Li Quan Ha (well, I guess that’s okay) and is the owner of the Fighting Dragon School of Kung-Fu. While the title of the project is still named “The Karate Kid”, it really wouldn’t make any sense if “Dre-san” was learning Kung-Fu, would it?
I hope that wasn’t too traumatizing to read. Sources say, however, that the script, penned by Chris Murphy, is actually quite good. Oh, really? Well, when production does begin on this project, I can think of no 2 better words to say to Mr. Smith than the following: NO MERCY.